>I’ve been tagged by the lovely Hayley over at Single Motherhood Challenges to do the Life Plan Meme.
It’s funny how things change over the years and my “Life plan” is one of those that has changed imaginably over the years.
When I was about 10 I wanted to be a vet and imagined marrying my prince charming at 22 and having babies by 25. By about 12 this changed and I wanted to be a social worker (not sure where that came from) but then changed my mind again when I realised I couldn’t bear to sit and listen to the terrible abuse that some children go through. Then it was a holiday rep, I’m not sure what age I decided that I was going to be a holiday rep, maybe about 14 or 15 as I was a bit of a wild child and Holiday Reps Uncovered (or whatever it was called) was on about that time and I so wanted to be one of them! I did my work experience in a travel agency and was offered a job by the end of the week to start once I’d finished school.
So at 16 I donned my rather unflattering blue polyester skirt, ugly blue patterned blouse and blue jacket and started work for a well know travel agents. It was a stop gap before I became a holiday rep, but I was in the travel business and that’s all that mattered to me back then. I was actually a bloody good travel agent, outselling all the other trainees in the country in my first and second years and winning the Top Trainee Travel Advisor Award, which included a stay in a swanky hotel and an awards ceremony. My thoughts of marriage and babies had disappeared, it was all booze, fags, clubbing and men and as much of all 4 that I could get my hands on! I was an absolute nightmare as you can imagine!
By 18 I had made it, my dream of being a holiday rep had become a reality. I was living the life of riley in the South of France with a great bunch of people who have gone on to be better friends than some I have known since I was a child. It was bloody hard work, it certainly wasn’t the picnic I’d imagined it to be but it was still great fun.
In the year I was 19 I had returned home from my stint as a holiday rep and had been offered the job as manager for the following year, the youngest in the company – how chuffed was I! Then it happened, I fell pregnant! My “bit of rough” who had been a stop gap before returning to France and I were expecting a baby and he wasn’t best pleased. So much so that he immediately dumped me and stopped work “so I couldn’t get any money out of him” – nice! Suddenly my life plan had fallen apart in a matter of minutes and I didn’t know what the hell to do. I was 19, pregnant and alone and scared shitless! What on earth was I going to do? The decision was pretty much made for me a few weeks later, when I was about 6 weeks pregnant I started bleeding and on a trip to the Early Pregnancy Unit it was confirmed that I was having a miscarriage, but, and this was a big but – I was still pregnant! I’d lost my baby’s twin but there on the screen and determined not to go anywhere was the little peanut shaped blob who went on to become my beautiful daughter. In that moment I knew that the decision was made, I was going to have a baby and at that time that’s all that my life revolved around, doing the best for both of us.
Once she arrived I was pretty much forced back to work to keep a roof over our heads and the bills paid but with post natal depression literally crushing me I couldn’t carry on and I ended up taking six months off work. In those few months I worked out what I wanted and started applying for new jobs, I didn’t mind what it was I just had to move on. A conversation with an ex boyfriend led me to apply for a job in a police station working in the anti social behaviour unit and when I was chosen for the job I was elated, it was the thought of spending days with men in uniform rather than any life plan that led me into that job. I loved the job but felt I was missing out on E growing up and at 25 when she started school I took voluntary redundancy and the job I do now just kind of fell into my lap.
The last 2 jobs I’ve had haven’t been part of any masterplan, I work to get enough money to get by. I’m just lucky I’ve had two jobs I could really get my teeth into, make a difference to people’s lives and get paid very well for doing it! What more can I ask for? I never in a million years thought I would work for the police, and now with offenders at probation (and soon I will be back in the anti social behaviour unit at the nick again as they requested that I take on some of the work there – love the flattery! lol!). I was the original party animal, naughty girl, who would have probably got herself an asbo if it wasn’t for E coming along when she did. Yet the last 6 years Ive spent either Asbo-ing unruly kids (or adults!) or helping offenders turn their lives around and I absolutely love it! Yes there are times when I read what a person has done and it’s all I can do to stop myself slapping them or giving them a piece of my mind, but on the whole the majority of the people I see do want to make a difference in their lives and are sorry for what they have done.
So onto the future, what have I got instore for me? Well, I don’t know! I think fate has played a part in my last few years work wise anyway, so maybe it will happen again!
I was recently asked to take on a new role at probation which was created just for me, following a report that I wrote. I can’t tell you how unbelievably flattering that is and I am so grateful to them for doing that. I did however eventually turn it down. I was offered another position at the same time, in the police station I used to work in and in the same unit I worked in before. It doesn’t involve travelling and although there’s no payrise it means I still get to take my gorgeous girl to school and pick her up every day. It’s the right choice for me right now.
I’m 28 and I’ve never been married, so that didn’t fit in with my younger self who used to hang a pillowcase off the back of my head, dress up in my mums wedding dress, make my little sister be my groom and dream of the day when I would marry my prince charming. But, I think I have found him at least! The only man I have ever been in love with (going back 10 years we lived with each other prior to me buggaring off to France to be a holiday rep) tracked me down on Facebook a year ago and we have been together ever since. We just fit and I’ve never felt that way before. We don’t need to change who we are for one another and it’s like we’ve never been apart. It sounds sad and slushy etc but I honestly couldn’t be happier. Even if he is living in Spain at the moment after finding a job out in Gibraltar. But, he is the man I would follow anywhere so that seems to be what the future holds for me. The plan is to follow him there in the summer and be a family, me, M and E. We’ve actually become even closer since he moved away and in the last few days have decided that we are going to start trying for a baby once he passes his probation period in his new job (sounds very unromantic I know but he wants to make sure we’re financially secure before we start!).
So for me it’s pretty simple, I’ve had the career, I’ve had all the fun one girl can handle, now it’s all about my family. My life plan is simply to be happy and enjoy my life with E, M and whoever else just so happens to come along!
If you haven’t had this Meme yet, consider yourself tagged!