>Like it matters

>That should be my motto – Like it matters! I am finding it hard to just let the little things go at the moment, jumping down peoples throats when they say something I don’t want to hear. I don’t mean to, I’m just letting things get to me more than they should do. I’m ill and stressed and that is manifesting as anger, I’m fed up of the sound of me moaning and snapping at people, so this should hopefully be quite theraputic for me.

It doesn’t matter that my daughter stuffs all of her clothes/books/toys under her bed when she’s asked to tidy up rather than putting them away.

It doesn’t matter that I’m not very good at this housewife thing, I’m sure I’ll learn how to actually clean rather than tring to avoid it all day and then having a mad rush to cook and clean before the other half gets home.

It doesn’t matter that the door on my horrendous excuse for a lease car has almost fallen off, no one was sitting next to it when it decided it would no longer close, even if I did have to suffer a bit of a hairy ride to the garage in the back of the car holding the door closed for dear life. It will be fixed (eventually) and it will be theraputic shouting at the moron who gave me the car to rent in the first place. (imagine a car where the door has fallen off, it needed a whole new exhaust, needs new tyres, one window doesnt even open and the wing mirrors are glued in to stop them falling out – apparently it’s appropriate to rent out death traps to people in Spain!)

It doesn’t matter that the management agent is trying desperately to get out of fixing things that are wrong with the house and blaming us for things that were reported to him on moving in, they will get fixed (eventually!)

It doesn’t matter that my mum picked holes in my house/the area/living in Spain in general when she came to visit, I just have to keep telling myself that she does it because she misses us rather than to drive me insane.

It doesn’t matter that I can’t yet speak Spanish fluently, I’ve only been here for 2 months! I will get there eventually.

It doesn’t matter that I feel so rough at the moment all I want to do is curl up into a ball in bed rather than the usual cooking/cleaning etc, let alone preparing for a visit from the father in law next week, I will start to feel better soon, even if it doesn’t feel like it after a month of bronchitis!

This rather whiny post was written for the Writing Workshop over at Sleep is for the weak.

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6 responses to “>Like it matters

  1. >Two months already? Wow! Aw bless your mum! Your right, its because she misses you, she wants her daughter to come home and its her way of trying to do that without saying it outright! Em is doing exactly what I used to do with my bedroom hehehe! Bless her! *massive hugs* Miss you!

  2. >I know how you feel. I have had flu which then went to Bronchitis 😦 Its knocked the remaining stuffing out of me. Big hugs xxx

  3. >Aaaaw everything always seems worse when you're not very well doesn't it?Anyway, look on the bright side – you have TV yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyySeriously though, I hope you're OK – feel free to e mail me if you have more steam to let off x

  4. >You need some TLC. Made me smile reading the bit about mad dash to do the cleaning and cooking in the last half hour before your OH gets home, mmmm don't know who that reminds me of!

  5. >You know what I think you are amazing to still be on your feet at all, let alone driving the death trap after an nasty illness

  6. >And right after 'like it matters', I tell myself 'just let it go'. no one can see the cat hair and mess but me and the kids: and they don't care 😉 Stopping by from Sleep is for the weak

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