A mum without a daughter

It’s almost 10am and I’ve been up for hours just sitting here in silence. There’s no laughter, no Disney Channel blaring out on the tv and no one asking for her favourite cereal or if it’s too early to sneak a packet of crisps. It’s so quiet it only goes to remind me that my baby isn’t here.

Don’t get me wrong, there has been no terrible accident, my daughter has gone back to England with my mum for a visit. She isn’t due to start school until September and has been going stir crazy stuck here with me every day, so when my mum came to visit last week while I was recovering from being ill and suggested she take my daughter back with her, the little one jumped at the chance.

A week I could deal with, she often went away with my mum when I was working, to the seaside or the countryside and had a whale of a time, but this isn’t just a week, this will be for over a month. She’s been gone for 12 hours and already I feel like something is missing that a Skype call just isn’t going to compensate for.

She was so excited to be going to see our family and her little friends, she hasn’t seen them since September after all, that I can’t help but smile when I think of how happy she will be over the coming weeks and how much fun  she’ll have. I just need to focus on that rather than how much I’m going to miss her.

Of course the man and I will be able to go out as and when we choose and to places we can’t go with the little monkey in tow. I keep being told to focus on the fun I can have while she’s away to take my mind off her not being here, so perhaps that’s what I should be doing. I plan to try some nice new restaurants and a few visits to the cinema will have to be had, despite the man not being keen on being subjected to the “romantic crap” I usually choose to watch and I’m hoping to get a months membership at one of the local hotels pools so I can get out and about every day, while exercising! It could be a great few weeks, but I’m thinking much of it will be spent wishing she was here to enjoy it with me!

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5 responses to “A mum without a daughter

  1. I know just how you feel. A month is a long time though isn’t it. My mum has offered to have Amy for a week in the summer holidays but I don’t think she’ll manage a week. My mum isn’t very accepting of Amy’s autism and still thinks “she’ll grow out of it”, despite me giving her books and information and telling her repeatedly that she won’t. Nonetheless, Amy wants to go and it’ll give me a break. But whether a week will happen I don’t know, probably be more like a few days!

    Take care, enjoy the time to yourself and remember your beautiful child is absolutely fine.

    CJ xx

    • I just spoke to her on Skype actually and she is perfectly fine and enjoying every minute as you can imagine. She surprised my nan and grandad who burst into tears when they saw her and she’s off to surprise my little nieces tomorrow, who will just scream with delight when they see her, so she’s loving all the attention as you can imagine.

      Maybe your mum saying Amy will “grow out of it” is her way of dealing with it, not wanting to believe that she has autism, maybe admitting it makes it more real for her. Mind you some people I’ve come across through my old job thought that autism and asbergers etc were just childhood conditions rather than something that lasts a lifetime! I’m sure Amy will have a great time with your mum however long she ends up staying for and like you say you’ll get a well deserved rest – not sure how you manage to rest on a farm though as you’re always so busy!

      x

      P.S I knew it was you even if no one else did!

  2. p.s. For some reason that comment was posted in my WordPress account. I’m really known as Crystal Jigsaw!!

  3. I would turn up the Disney channel, scatter toys across the floor, sprinkle some food crumbs around, spill a few drinks and hey presto it’ll be like there’s a child in your house again (give or take some whinging and some tears) – Or is that just what my house is like lol

    Seriously though, I know I’d feel the same as you and I’d spend lots of my ‘me’ time wishing I wan’t on my own but I’m pretty sure you’d be saying ‘enjoy your time alone, it won’t come along again for a while so make the most of it’ wouldn’t you?

  4. Oh bless you! I’m normally ok with Chick being gone for the first 24 hours. After that I’m done and want her home! A couple of times she’s been gone for longer and I honestly dislike it. Not entirely sure how I’ll manage in 3 years when she is no longer interested in being at home with me!! Hope that you manage xx

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