Baby love – the 2nd time around

A question that’s been on my mind since discovering I was pregnant is “how can I ever love another child as much as my first?”. Whether that is something that goes through all second time mums minds, or it’s just me over thinking things I don’t know, but it continues to stick in my mind. I just can’t imagine having that overwhelming rush of love you get when you hold your newborn baby in your arms for the first time again.

When I was pregnant with my daughter, what seems like a lifetime ago, I fell in love with a tiny little six week baby on the sonographer’s screen and couldn’t help but shed tears of joy. This time around, my much longed for baby has been seen 3 times on screen and although I love seeing him/her and it brings a smile to my face watching my little wriggler dance across the screen, it hasn’t induced those rather illusive happy tears. I couldn’t help thinking this was a sign of things to come and maybe I really wasn’t capable of loving another child as much as I love my daughter.

But then as my pregnancy has progressed and my little wriggler has grown stronger and stronger and I’ve felt his/her movements more and more each day, I’ve fallen in love with the little monkey that seems to think my bladder is some kind of squeeze toy and although I still can’t imagine loving anyone as much as I love my daughter I know that loving this baby won’t be an issue at all, I’m already there after all! I guess only time can tell how I will feel once the little one is born.

Has anyone else ever felt like this? Are we as parents capable of loving subsequent children as much as our first?

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7 responses to “Baby love – the 2nd time around

  1. Spooky – I’m not pregnant yet but have been wondering exactly the same thing. It must be common as I remember a colleague telling me he was worried about this when his second son was born. The question then is do parents have a secret favourite amongst siblings…?

  2. I feel exactly the same, I guess it’s normal for subsequent pregnancies not to be the whole consuming thing that the first was. I asked my Mum about it in a rare moment of advice seeking and she simply said “you just grow another heart”.

  3. I think the second time pregnancy is very different, simply because you’re just too busy to think about being pregnant and dream about your baby all the time, like you did the first time. You feel guilty about that! And I think everybody wonders if they can love another baby as much as they love their first one. But believe me, you can and you do – when my second was born my immediate first thoughts were elation as I’d managed a natural birth after an emergency section the first time. Then I got taken off to be stiched up and when they wheeled me back and I saw my husband standing there holding this dark haired little bundle I was totally and utterly overwhelmed with love for her. I can still remember that feeling to this day. You have much more love to give than you ever imagined possible!
    Best of luck xxx

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