For the first part of my birth story, click here
I dragged myself off the bed, had a wander about and decided I wanted to push, the man called the midwife and in wandered two different midwives who without even checking if I was fully dilated ordered me back on the bed and told me to start pushing. After a while they decided the baby’s head was in an odd position and was coming down the birth canal almost diagonally so they told me to stop pushing (anyone who’s ever had the urge to push will tell you how hard it is to resist pushing!) and they’d come back in half an hour! I can’t even begin to describe how painful it is to have massive contractions and resist pushing, especially with no pain relief (did I mention there’s no gas and air or pethadine here either!) and despite having barely uttered a word during my first labour, the entire hospital must have known I was in labour by the time I’d given birth!
Just when I thought I couldn’t hold out any longer, in walked the midwives (all 4 of them!) and I was practically dragged onto my side and my legs grabbed and put in all kinds of bizarre positions to help the little one get his head out – unfortunately they weren’t aware I had horrific SPD and by contorting me into all kinds of weird positions they were causing me more pain than the labour was! I can’t remember how long I was pushing for, but it couldn’t have been that long (although if you ask my partner he would probably tell you it was for a lifetime – he’s been scarred for life bless him!) until I felt the baby’s head crowning – never a nice feeling but whether it was the size of him or the fact I’d had no painkillers I felt every last second – OUCH is all I will say! Then with the next push out he came. He was lifted straight onto my chest (something that would have horrified me when my first was born) and gave a squeal before snuggling up to me and feeding pretty much straight away. I didn’t cry, despite being a hormonal wreck when my daughter was born, but I fell in love with him instantly.
Thinking my ordeal was over, I’d been handed the gorgeous baby after all, I enjoyed every minute of snuggling with my gorgeous baby boy and his dad who was recovering from what he’d just seen, when in came another 2 midwives and a cleaner (they don’t hang about by the looks of things) who all busied themselves with various jobs. Two set up camp between my legs (which had now been dragged into stirrups because I literally couldn’t move below my pelvis due to the pain from the SPD and them pulling my legs about) and after dealing with the placenta decided that what my lady garden needed was a bit of decoration. A cross stitch design to be precise! (I swear I have a Winnie the Pooh design going on down there if I was ever brave enough to look, I’m only hoping to god they used disolvable stitches!) It took two midwives an hour and a half to complete their “pattern”, which after giving birth to a 9lb 9oz baby is not the most comfortable feeling in the world – why are the stitches more painful than the labour anyway!?! Another midwife stood behind them and gawped at their handy work, although didn’t seem to be their senior, she just seemed to enjoy staring up a part of my body that my son had just escaped from! Another regularly threw a jug of antiseptic liquid on my lady garden and another seemed to be tidying things up with the cleaner. The last midwife was responsible for looking after the baby, doing his tests, fashioning him a cute little hat from a sort of gauze and giving him his first injection (his dad witnessed this and wasn’t keen on her making his newborn cry bless him).
Clearly there weren’t enough people in the room because more midwives popped in to take a look at my massive baby (babies are generally 7lb or under here so my boy was a bit of a celebrity, plus he was the first baby born on Christmas Day in the hospital) and my “twinkle” as my daughter would call it! They also have huge wall length sliding glass doors on the rooms, so anyone wandering the halls had a wicked view of me with my legs in stirrups with two midwives faces buried between my legs! You’d think I’d be shocked or embarrassed or even angry at their seemingly bizarre treatment of me, but I found the whole situation rather amusing. I’d been warned to expect a different kind of birth to my daughters back home anyway so it was interesting to see how things were done and half the time quite funny due to it verging on the ridiculous!
Once the cross stitch sisters decided they’d finished their artwork, the midwives all seemed to disappear and left us alone together for a while which was lovely. We were wheeled up to our room, which turned out to be the smallest twin room in the world with bugger all privacy, but a lovely view of the sea (silver linings). The size of the room being seriously tested by the woman in the next beds entire family (at least 20 of them) rocking up when she was wheeled in after her caesarean at 2am before shushing each other loudly and turning on all the lights in the room, waking both me and the baby up – great! They were a lovely family however, despite there not being enough room for them, nor their complete lack of care for anyone else’s privacy – her grandad, who often plonked himself at the end of my bed, even knew I’d given birth to a 9lb 9oz baby with no epidural (he raised his eyebrows and looked at my “area” at one point!) by the end of my 2 day stay in hospital! Needless to say leaving hospital on the 27th with my gorgeous boy and bringing him home to his doting big sister was definitely the best bit of my stay in hospital!
Despite the comedy moments throughout my labour and hospital stay, I had a great birth, coped far better than I ever thought I would at home and I got to experience giving birth without any pain relief – which was wonderful (although don’t be fooled it was bloody painful!) and something I never thought I’d be able to do. It wasn’t necessarily what I would have planned but it was a case of just going with the flow and I think I was more relaxed because of it – I didn’t even write a birth plan, not that they asked if I had one!
Would I do it again? In a heartbeat! I was broody again within about a week of leaving hospital!